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Post Covid theories and stuff

Wrote on 2023/08/29

Preamble: I headcanon Trey reading stuff like this online and pettily deciding to scrap ideas because somebody wrote it already so:

TREY DON'T READ THIS, GTFO

Nobody is going to read this. I beg u, I'm just a rando rambling incoherently, I don't know what I am saying. Let me have this, pleas. I need to vent.

Pre Post Covid Crisis

Before the episode came out I had a lot of thinking. They were going to show a TIME SKIP, so I had everything going on my mind.

1. First of all: holy fucking shit, 50 years old version of the forever 10 years old, that's fucking insane. What the fuck. This can only be a CATHASTROPE (but of course I was thrilled);
2. Secondly: TIME TRAVEL! There is going to be a TIME MACHINE INVOLVED! Horrible shit is going to happen!

My first thoughts went to the My Future Self 'n' Me episode, because it's the only time travel canon event. I always hated that ugly Cartman but "technically" he is dead in the normal time, because his past got erased when Cartman decided he wouldn't ever be a good worker and he became a random mechanic now stuck in the normal time.

But the most terrible thing out of these events, is that if Time Traveller Cartman's future was changed and he literally stopped existing. He didn't fade back to a time where he never made that "trip" to the past because he was only a mechanic, he got TURNED into that guy. So this means there are no alternative timelines, but only ONE, because the new one just replaced the old one.

I used to think a lot about that because it's awful. Cartman will never have a Future. No matter what is he going to do, he WILL end up becoming some bozo stuck in time. I can't think of his future when I know he WILL CANONICALLY END LIKE THAT.

Random stuff about time travel in movies [article] from where I got these timeline images

The Grandfather Paradox it's based on the idea that if you go back in time to kill your grandfather, you can't be existing, so the previous reality gets erased and a new one starts from the moment of the killing. Here there is no grandfather killing, but Cartman technically killed Time Travel Cartman, because he changed the future and erased the previous one. I don't enjoy this version of time travel because I don't like when future selves get their reality changed like that. What happened to their memories? If Cartman erased the possibility of Time Travel Cartman existing, future Cartman must have never travelled back in the first place. What is he doing here?

Now... I know... It's a one time joke thing, nobody cares and why would Trey even remember it? But you know, I'm delusional and I like to make up theories and that was my only thing available.

The first future versions revealed were probably the ""most uninteresting"" ones, since Kenny and Cartman would have been a big spoiler, but also because since Kyle and Stan are self inserts, they just did a recolored version of real life Matt and Trey.
This is discutible, but I always liked the idea that they were going to keep their apparences in the future, so it was a JARRING EXPERIENCE to witness it of course, fucking ugly overdetailed adults, hard to get used to it, but it was somewhat good news for me.
Of course this is bad news for people that likes to sex characters that are not REAL LIFE PEOPLE or just, you know, not having their fave characters be some rich guy self insert, but ngl I have that sick Hollywood fan stance for Matt and Trey, so I'm kinda amused by the b/w Style stuff going around for totally South Park unrelated reasons.

But what made me lose my marbles even more is that they are in a QUANTUM PHYSICS LABORATORY. Is that Cartman's lab? From when he went back in time to doom his life? Will we witness that moment AGAIN? There can be ONLY ONE TIMELINE, so it is going to be that, right? And damn, I really did not want to see that. It's cool when they do random shit in old episodes and then surprise it was relevant all along! Even if it wasn't but it got collegated at the last moment for the funsies. But ughh, that's the most awful looking Cartman, I don't want him to be some smug butt chin chad just because they did a joke in 2002...

Post Covid came out

Kenny was the best thing happening in this episode. Look at him. He is so cool.
And he is the actual guy behind the Time Machine laboratory, GOOD. So what is Cartman? Some guy working for him? What insane revelation could come up now?

This:

This is the most fucked up thing they could have done. It was 4AM when I was watching this and I absolutely wasn't ready. Funniest fucking shit ever, I'm still recovering. Thank GOD they destroyed every theory I brewed up until then around the Future Me thing. Seeing this guy was the most relieving thing after waiting two weeks for seeing if they ruined everything.

Doing time skip episodes is such a fucking bet and holy shit. It's ok.

And also Rabbi Cartman is truly beautiful.

So anyway the episode special was great.

I really liked Kyle's characterization because he never had much going on. And nothing changed for him in 40 years. When the broship broke he was the most in danger in my eyes, because while everyone else had a chance to find other friends and interests, Kyle had no way to do it. He is often alone and hangs out with his "friends" from time to time but he has no appealing whatsoever for other kids. While Cartman is a little shit, he has some social skills to keep someone around. And Cartman SUCCEEDED somehow in this, while Kyle had NO CHANCE.
He is 50 years old, checking out his shit to see if it turns into some magic talking Christmas turd, he looks nostalgically at some picture of his friends from when he was 10. It's so sad. He never grew up and he is playing "responsible" as he would do when he was a kid.
To me it seemed like he was Adam Sandler in Click, setting a "skip every Cartmanless moment", living on autopilot until Post Covid.
Because he sure was animated after seeing him again. He was already acting like some entitled bitch with Stan, but when he saw Cartman being a Rabbi he was literally the same kid Kyle ranting but with Gerald's voice this time.
He has no meaning if he can't compete with Cartman in the Morality Game™.
He is the most empty and dull man.
It's amazing.

In the show they drift apart so I thought Kyle was healing and wasn't that much wrapped on whatever evil thing Cartman was up to. But no, Kyle stayed the One Dimension character that's mad at Cartman forever.

About the ending

I personally don't think showing the DEFINITE FINAL ending of a show that is going to end at season 30 (hopefully) would make any sense, UNLESS it's some bigger plot.

The Return of Covid ending looks as "doomed" as the first timeline. It seems like the beginning of some big plot that's going to last until the end of the series.

What they end up doing at the very end seems rushed and not even significant as some real big ending, but only as an ending for the two part special. Stan was an alcoholic and now he is some pilot just because they have to show he is sober now. Kyle didn't even do anything else beside having kids/family, which is just what he envied from Cartman in the first part. Butters is pathetic but whatever it's Butters and I guess he is evil "shitting on an homeless dude" and not evil "kills people over NFTs". Kenny is a chad as before so good for him. And Cartman ended up the most tragic quick thing they could think of.

Even if they want the ending to be sad because "life is shit", this would make such a bad finale for a 25 years old show. It's so anticlimatic.
It's sad Cartman becomes some sort of saint that sacrified his life for his "friends" and made the outcome still be DISAPPOINTING.

The song they chose for the end was devastating.

It's so fucking sad please.

What are they going to do to make it end that bad?

Was this the point? To make the viewer feel compassionate for Cartman? Like sure he was a little shit as a kid and did fucked up things, but I wouldn't blame everything on everyone else and that he ended up a cute good daddy by avoiding them and a homeless guy when he stuck with them. He was just a kid so he "doesn't deserve it", but still it's not like he was driven only by being bullied or whatever.

Everyone is relevant in his developing, but they are not the sole responsible of his persona.

So I believe that all the events we are seeing in the current episodes are going to be about the events that will make them end up like that, to explain it and eventually change the future?

I don't think there is going to be a "good end" because they are too fucked up for that, but at least a "complete ending". Even if they end up having those jobs and lives, there should be some filling to why Stan became a pilot, who the hell had kids with Kyle and why did Kenny become a rich scientist even if he is not moved by the need to quit Covid and the big cash NFT Butters gave him.

Now, for something totally Fantasy...

What happened to Stan, Kyle and Cartman after they went back in the present? They probably faded away, or something, the moment their present selves "fixed" their broship.

But let's suppose for a second that the My Future Self 'n' Me episode wasn't totally random: it could be that they are STILL in the present somewhere, which it would be really humurous. Ok that I don't like what originally happens (Chad Cartman turning into Loser Cartman), so in this scenario there would be Cartman becoming homeless, Stan becomes sober (?) and Kyle being an empty shell like always. It makes no sense. Not that time travel makes sense but you know. Also there is already a timeline with homeless Cartman etc.
SO the idea would be that the first timeline Post Covid trio is still alive and stuck in the present and there is a SECOND timeline with the Return of Covid trio.

So what am I getting into even if following what has been going on would not make sense? That's right.

Think about it: the first trio being alive and roaming around the present would have not make that much sense, they could also be dead, I don't know, but what if the now doomed timeline of Post Covid still exists? Like there is Yentl and friends still stuck in South Park because there is Covid and they can't leave. Stuck there with a Time Machine...

It doesn't sound that appealing but IMAGINE.

It would be so fun if something broke after that trip and there is some multi dimension shit going on and they can go visit different timelines in some way.

Like imagine Yentl being alive and evil and going back in time to kill Kyle. Or maybe she is like "Sob, your father sacrified himself for a good reason" and one of the kids can't take it and swores revenge. Like Hackelm growing up and pulling a Terminator at Kyle. "Are you uncle Kahl?".
Haha what IF Hackelm grows up, becomes some chad, goes back in time to kill Kyle but he wants to meet his amazing saint father before, so he stops to incourage him by saying "I'm you from the future, keep doing good! Everything is SO FINE" and 10yo Cartman tells him to fuck himself and his impression of his father changes so hard by that interaction he becomes a fat bozo? jk.

I must stop thinking about that episode, Jesus Christ. It's been 20 years, I have let it go.

But still, these are tertiary characters who cares, but the main 4 having alternative realities would be FUN. I would really enjoy seeing what could they pull out from that.

So far it's the only thing that comes to my mind for letting them change the future.

Thoughts about canon

Anyway, this whole thing as it is right now should not work because the trio went back in time, did things, changed the future.

So again, this happened:

Clyde went back in time, told himself to become some antivax schizo and nothing changed because he is already the product of his paradox.

So Clyde's timeline should look like this:

Why is Clyde already antivax if he gave himself that idea when he went in the past?
They can't have both types of paradoxes happen at the same time. Makes no sense.

TL;DR - Thinking about this stuff is useless because there are no rules.